Friday, February 11, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
2011
2010 was the most intense year of my life, time to have a new start, remember the good memories and forget the bad ones.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
This is what I feel
Someday you'll want to kiss me
Like I wanted to kiss you,
Someday you'll want to hold me
Like I wanted to hold you,
Someday you'll need me
Like I needed you,
Someday you'll say you love me,
Just like I told you several times before,
So someday this will all happen,
For now just know I'll say it,
I Love You
Like I wanted to kiss you,
Someday you'll want to hold me
Like I wanted to hold you,
Someday you'll need me
Like I needed you,
Someday you'll say you love me,
Just like I told you several times before,
So someday this will all happen,
For now just know I'll say it,
I Love You
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
what the fuck is going on seriously? whats in your MIND? i thought things were fine right before you left to japan, and now like EVERYTHING is different. what happened to you in japan? why arent you talking like you used to anymore? and ive found out that im like the only one that youre not talking to the way you used to. you just came back from japan and suddenly need to talk to me straight away. i dont know what the fuk is going through your mind, unless someone put something in there. fucking the past few days is the worst ive ever felt. three weeks in japan did somethign to you seriuosly, i just dont know anymore.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
HIII
im bored at school using the macs ==
schools tirin and im going to epic tonight i tihnk... hopefully it'll be fun ;) and hopes for isaac and a certain someone ;))
schools pretty lame now coz i currently havea 49% average in methods, and my teacher saidsomething like i need fucking 100% for the next two or three sacs :( guess its time to knuckle down and study hc!
schools tirin and im going to epic tonight i tihnk... hopefully it'll be fun ;) and hopes for isaac and a certain someone ;))
schools pretty lame now coz i currently havea 49% average in methods, and my teacher saidsomething like i need fucking 100% for the next two or three sacs :( guess its time to knuckle down and study hc!
Monday, July 26, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
Day 1 - Your Best Friend
Dear RAPTA,
helllo richard, andy, thomas and last but not least anthony! hmmm i really cant remember how this rapta business even created, we just were hanging out all together one day... then it became a close friend group :) We've all been friends for a few years and its been great, without all of you guys i wudnt be the same person i am now. I remember how we used to like hide shit from other people because it was only rapta business... that was pretty funny LOL but tight to others. i remember all the times when you guys were here for me when i needed you guys the most, i remember all the great advice from everyone. I remember we wud always bag thomas during our outings and always being there for each other when certain people needed to get things done :). i remember pretty much everything, but i cant put it in words D:.
Few years back i wasnt really "in" the asian group i am now. its when i started hanging with anthony (ty broda) and then i met the other guys and became more tight with them, closer friends and being able to actually dnm for the first time. My life has quite changed since primary school til now, its coz of you guys. :)
Well i'd like to note that, i'd always be there for you guys, since i know that you'd always be here for me.
we die togetherrr (yn) RAPTA
Dear NG,
oh hello there, hmm.... there are many memories of you.. so lets start off with: the first time i saw you was... at amazing race? LOL quite random actuallyy... hmm i dunno what to sayy we got along quite well at the start, used to go like BOXHILL every friday before youth and shit, and still often do :O ahah. youu were actually the first person i opened up to about my dad, which felt really good because i trust you and still do. I couldnt live without a person like you cozz what cud i do without ur advice u know? (A). Even though we are usually on and off and shit we're still good friends and yeah i'd like to keep it like that for the future. there was a time when we drifted coz of an incident, which you should know of, a quite stupid argument or situation, but yeah its all good now and thats what matters (Y). i remember the time you bleached my hair in the baby change rooms, SO embarassing, everyone was fkn watchingggggg arghh! LOL. I remember we all used to SKYPE like everynight with like 8 people talking and shit til late all the time, ahhh the good times :). I remember we used to try find out the "stories" behind people, we are quite the curious people.. HAHA. and yess gossip about like HEAPS of shitt that we both tell each other. we're still hoping for one last thing A&K if ever happens, i owe u 20 bucks! LOL
thanks for being there for me and your pro advice you give :)
Lots of love,
Paul/Nugens/Fab(or w.e LOL)
helllo richard, andy, thomas and last but not least anthony! hmmm i really cant remember how this rapta business even created, we just were hanging out all together one day... then it became a close friend group :) We've all been friends for a few years and its been great, without all of you guys i wudnt be the same person i am now. I remember how we used to like hide shit from other people because it was only rapta business... that was pretty funny LOL but tight to others. i remember all the times when you guys were here for me when i needed you guys the most, i remember all the great advice from everyone. I remember we wud always bag thomas during our outings and always being there for each other when certain people needed to get things done :). i remember pretty much everything, but i cant put it in words D:.
Few years back i wasnt really "in" the asian group i am now. its when i started hanging with anthony (ty broda) and then i met the other guys and became more tight with them, closer friends and being able to actually dnm for the first time. My life has quite changed since primary school til now, its coz of you guys. :)
Well i'd like to note that, i'd always be there for you guys, since i know that you'd always be here for me.
we die togetherrr (yn) RAPTA
Dear NG,
oh hello there, hmm.... there are many memories of you.. so lets start off with: the first time i saw you was... at amazing race? LOL quite random actuallyy... hmm i dunno what to sayy we got along quite well at the start, used to go like BOXHILL every friday before youth and shit, and still often do :O ahah. youu were actually the first person i opened up to about my dad, which felt really good because i trust you and still do. I couldnt live without a person like you cozz what cud i do without ur advice u know? (A). Even though we are usually on and off and shit we're still good friends and yeah i'd like to keep it like that for the future. there was a time when we drifted coz of an incident, which you should know of, a quite stupid argument or situation, but yeah its all good now and thats what matters (Y). i remember the time you bleached my hair in the baby change rooms, SO embarassing, everyone was fkn watchingggggg arghh! LOL. I remember we all used to SKYPE like everynight with like 8 people talking and shit til late all the time, ahhh the good times :). I remember we used to try find out the "stories" behind people, we are quite the curious people.. HAHA. and yess gossip about like HEAPS of shitt that we both tell each other. we're still hoping for one last thing A&K if ever happens, i owe u 20 bucks! LOL
thanks for being there for me and your pro advice you give :)
Lots of love,
Paul/Nugens/Fab(or w.e LOL)
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
I know a lot of people can probably relate,
Losing a parent, having so many thoughts and pain.
It just stays hidden for years
and no one knows what you go through, and you know,
It gets hard sometimes when I, when I sit and think.
I don't have to many memories really,
But the ones I do have, I hold onto and cherish.
Dad this is for you.
You were taken away from me when I was only seven,
I guess you already had a place made in heaven.
Now I'm thinking, did this really happen that day?
When you died then your soul was just captured away.
Faded to grey. Now there is no more blue skies.
I thought life was given to everyone who tries.
Why Him, you had your choice of killers and crooks.
Now I'm writing this in my hands, I'm feeling real shook.
The feelings it took to try to hide my tears, I tuck
Them away and put them deep inside my fears.
Couldn't confide in peers, no one knew what was wrong,
they were all young and didn't know what was going on.
But I did, I remember all the pain I felt,
tears dripping down my face, just like rain it felt.
Damn this world, I just tried not to think
but that was just as hard as trying not to blink.
Sometimes I sit and think and look at the sky.
If I could know one thing, then I would want
to know why. Why'd he have to die?
Why'd you take him that day?
When he left my life a part of me was taken away.
Sometimes I sit and think and look at the sky,
if I could know one thing, then I would want to know why.
Why'd he have to die? Why'd you take him that day?
When he left my life a part of me was taken away.
I don't remember the date you died and don't care to.
But I visit your grave cause I care for you.
We got you lights in the trees so that you'd have them for Christmas.
If I could talk to you, I know you'd probably say you miss us.
But don't worry, one day we'll all be together,
and on that day, it will be bright and sunny weather,
us together, Father and son once again,
and we'll talk about how many damn months it's been.
It's been so long since I talked to you,
I remember fishing and going on walks with you.
Damn, you didn't see me graduate at all,
and Dad, I'm six foot, I grew up to be tall.
A lot of people say that I look just like you.
Sometimes the pain of death feels like a rifle.
When I think to hard, that's when I need a tissue.
If I could tell you one thing, it would be I miss you.
Sometimes I sit and think and look at the sky,
if I could know one thing I would want to know why.
Why'd he have to die? Why'd you take him that day?
When he left a part of my life was just taken away.
Sometimes I sit and think and look at the sky.
If I could know one thing, I would want to know why.
Why'd he have to die? Why'd you take him that day?
When he left my life a part of me was just taken away.
I watch that video where you acted like a crook,
drama in my life like it's read from a book.
That day the Earth cried cause of the life that was took,
I walked into the funeral home and then I peaked in.
I read their stares cause my tears were leaking.
I couldn't take it, I was so young and confused.
But now you in heaven, and got your whole life to cruise.
No more crashes, you can ride without pain.
Sometimes still hear your voice inside of my brain,
I try to maintain, but sometimes it gets real hard.
If you look at my heart, you'll see it's forever scarred, forever scarred.
One day we'll be together, I miss you, I miss you.
Losing a parent, having so many thoughts and pain.
It just stays hidden for years
and no one knows what you go through, and you know,
It gets hard sometimes when I, when I sit and think.
I don't have to many memories really,
But the ones I do have, I hold onto and cherish.
Dad this is for you.
You were taken away from me when I was only seven,
I guess you already had a place made in heaven.
Now I'm thinking, did this really happen that day?
When you died then your soul was just captured away.
Faded to grey. Now there is no more blue skies.
I thought life was given to everyone who tries.
Why Him, you had your choice of killers and crooks.
Now I'm writing this in my hands, I'm feeling real shook.
The feelings it took to try to hide my tears, I tuck
Them away and put them deep inside my fears.
Couldn't confide in peers, no one knew what was wrong,
they were all young and didn't know what was going on.
But I did, I remember all the pain I felt,
tears dripping down my face, just like rain it felt.
Damn this world, I just tried not to think
but that was just as hard as trying not to blink.
Sometimes I sit and think and look at the sky.
If I could know one thing, then I would want
to know why. Why'd he have to die?
Why'd you take him that day?
When he left my life a part of me was taken away.
Sometimes I sit and think and look at the sky,
if I could know one thing, then I would want to know why.
Why'd he have to die? Why'd you take him that day?
When he left my life a part of me was taken away.
I don't remember the date you died and don't care to.
But I visit your grave cause I care for you.
We got you lights in the trees so that you'd have them for Christmas.
If I could talk to you, I know you'd probably say you miss us.
But don't worry, one day we'll all be together,
and on that day, it will be bright and sunny weather,
us together, Father and son once again,
and we'll talk about how many damn months it's been.
It's been so long since I talked to you,
I remember fishing and going on walks with you.
Damn, you didn't see me graduate at all,
and Dad, I'm six foot, I grew up to be tall.
A lot of people say that I look just like you.
Sometimes the pain of death feels like a rifle.
When I think to hard, that's when I need a tissue.
If I could tell you one thing, it would be I miss you.
Sometimes I sit and think and look at the sky,
if I could know one thing I would want to know why.
Why'd he have to die? Why'd you take him that day?
When he left a part of my life was just taken away.
Sometimes I sit and think and look at the sky.
If I could know one thing, I would want to know why.
Why'd he have to die? Why'd you take him that day?
When he left my life a part of me was just taken away.
I watch that video where you acted like a crook,
drama in my life like it's read from a book.
That day the Earth cried cause of the life that was took,
I walked into the funeral home and then I peaked in.
I read their stares cause my tears were leaking.
I couldn't take it, I was so young and confused.
But now you in heaven, and got your whole life to cruise.
No more crashes, you can ride without pain.
Sometimes still hear your voice inside of my brain,
I try to maintain, but sometimes it gets real hard.
If you look at my heart, you'll see it's forever scarred, forever scarred.
One day we'll be together, I miss you, I miss you.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
"tell me about the things that made you cry, I'll dye your black heart white"
so its been the first day of school, im was pretty drained as the day ended... i would say that my holidays have been pretty great, the first week drinkup with richard, nick, cindys and jane. some crazy night huh? (; the second week going to planetshakers was just awesome, wait..theres no words to explain how good it was :). it helped me and grow much stronger with god. sleepover at krystins house was damn hectic! sharades and chubby bunny :D!
theres been something on my mind lately..being confused, not knowing what to do. im not sure whether i should let go or not, or keep persisting. i know that i havnt been the greatest person to you, and maybe u dont deserve me. i once thought to myself, maybe i cant wait forever, i think i need to try forget you. but it didnt work out because i just avoided and ignored you like you didnt exist. i realised this just soon enough and i knew this wasnt the right thing. i was just trying to run away from the whole situation. if this hurt you then im sorry. i wasnt thinking properly.. i might have been cold at times, but that was just when i was confused. it might seem like i dont care at all, but thats not true, i care more than you'll ever know. i still do at this point. i still have these feelings for you and i dont know what to do now. we're just friends, and im happy that we are. i just wonder...what is on your mind? do you feel the same or not? i guess ill never find out..
theres been something on my mind lately..being confused, not knowing what to do. im not sure whether i should let go or not, or keep persisting. i know that i havnt been the greatest person to you, and maybe u dont deserve me. i once thought to myself, maybe i cant wait forever, i think i need to try forget you. but it didnt work out because i just avoided and ignored you like you didnt exist. i realised this just soon enough and i knew this wasnt the right thing. i was just trying to run away from the whole situation. if this hurt you then im sorry. i wasnt thinking properly.. i might have been cold at times, but that was just when i was confused. it might seem like i dont care at all, but thats not true, i care more than you'll ever know. i still do at this point. i still have these feelings for you and i dont know what to do now. we're just friends, and im happy that we are. i just wonder...what is on your mind? do you feel the same or not? i guess ill never find out..
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